Darrick Robles When we think of stress and anxiety, we first think of adult problems, but children struggle with them too. Up to 20% of all children and adolescents suffer from emotional and psychological problems, and half of all mental disorders begin before the age of 14. The most common illnesses in children include generalized anxiety disorders and depression . These diseases have been on the rise for decades, and the pandemic has only exacerbated that trend.
“There are many reasons why children can be stressed. We live in a society that doesn’t give children much room for encouragement and validation,” explains Madeleine Gauffin, Psychologist and Psychotherapist at Med-Healths.
However, parents can do a lot to help children develop into resilient adults.
What causes anxiety in children?
High levels of stress , whether at home, at school or elsewhere, can take a toll on children and affect their nervous systems.
The home environment is particularly important to a child’s well-being. Nowhere do children recharge their batteries more than at home. But nothing throws them off track more than a stressed home. “The more consciously we can perceive the children’s need for peace and harmony, the better,” adds Madeleine Gauffin. In particular, the way parents talk to their children can have a major impact. Research shows that using controlling, anxiety-provoking language like “don’t climb too high” or “do it this way” in children can lead to anxiety.
Smartphones, tablets and other media can also trigger stress in children . While social media has its positive sides, spending too much time on social media has been linked to mental health problems, particularly sleep disorders .
Other risk factors for generalized anxiety disorder include a family history, physical or emotional stress, past trauma, another anxiety disorder, or a chronic illness.
Signs and symptoms of anxiety in children
The symptoms of stress and anxiety in children and adolescents are similar to those in adults. Here are some of the symptoms to look out for in your child:
Physical Symptoms:
- nausea
- Pain in various parts of the body, especially headache and abdominal pain n
- dizziness
- recurrent infections
Mental Symptoms:
- Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
- nightmares
- lethargic or apathetic behavior
- restlessness or hyperactivity
7 tips on how to help an anxious child
1. Make room for conversation
If you’re concerned about your child’s fears, the first thing you should do is talk to them. Ask what’s going on and how he’s doing. “A young child may not be able to tell why they are feeling uncomfortable or stressed, but adults can help them figure it out.”
“Parents should definitely make time for such discussions. Maybe they need to cancel activities and take some time to show their child that you really care about them,” Gauffin adds.
You can also help your child identify what is causing the anxiety. The best way to find out what situations frighten him is to ask him how he feels in certain situations and around certain people. “It could be a specific topic at school that is making them feel insecure, or it could be a specific person or group – maybe the child is even being bullied. The most important thing is to make time for a real conversation, not just 5 minutes before bed. “
1. Take the child and their feelings seriously
“Parents should show their child that they take their experiences seriously. You should show understanding for his feelings. It’s not a good idea to downplay the situation because then the child won’t confide in you anymore,” explains Gauffin.
2. Be there for your child at the right moment
In situations where your child is overwhelmed or panicking, try to remain calm yourself. Hug them, breathe calmly, and try to help them breathe calmer as well. Reassure your child that you are there for them and will not let them down.
3. Create relaxing routines
Madeleine Gauffin recommends making preparations in the evening to make your morning routine less stressful. Lay out the clothes for the next day and prepare breakfast if possible.
Rituals and routines provide security. A relaxing routine before bed can also help the parasympathetic nervous system kick in, providing calm and relaxation. “Listening to bedtime music can help the child relax and fall asleep better,” Gauffin says.
In addition, screen devices should not be used directly before going to bed. Depending on the child’s age, you can stay with them until they fall asleep. “A lot of kids need that — they can’t settle down on their own. It may take half an hour longer, but that half hour is well spent,” adds Gauffin.
Does your child struggle with bad dreams more often? Here’s what helps with nightmares.
4. Schedule recovery times
Create as quiet an environment as possible at home. How many extracurricular activities do your children do? While well intentioned, young children don’t necessarily need busy schedules. There should be no leisure stress.
“Too much activity in the evening contributes to high stress levels in children,” explains M. Gauffin. The stress hormone level should drop again after an increase. But if we constantly run at full speed, it can lead to permanently increased values.
5. Pay attention to your own stress level
“The more aware you are of how you deal with everyday challenges and fears and how you react to stress, the better,” explains M. Gauffin. If you are often under stress yourself, you should deal with the causes. Here are some tips on how to deal with stress at work . Even if there are conflicts in the relationship , you should get to the bottom of the matter.
6. Lead by example
“We have to set an example to the children that they can sometimes do nothing and just relax, and that there is time and space for that,” says Gauffin. She explains how important it is to take time every day to relax together – and ideally not just in front of the screen. You can set a good example here by saying, “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to rest.”
Seek professional help
If the problem has persisted for more than a few weeks and you are having trouble helping your child, you should seek professional help. A pediatrician or a psychotherapist are the right people to talk to. Mental health problems that are not addressed in childhood are more likely to continue into adulthood. Timely help for your child is therefore crucial.
If you’re concerned about your child and think they need help, make an appointment with a Med-Healths pediatrician.
