Darrick Robles Losing your desire for sex can be unsettling. Loss of libido is a common problem that affects many men and women at some point in their lives. In most cases, however, this is not a cause for concern. We often lose interest in sex when we’re stressed, tired, or having relationship problems. Sometimes sexual reluctance can also have health reasons, for example problems with the thyroid gland .
Everyone ‘s sexual desire is different, and there is no such thing as a “normal” libido. However, if you notice that sexual reluctance is interfering with your relationship or you are concerned about the causes, it may be helpful to seek medical advice.
Here are some of the most common causes of low libido and what you can do about it.
1. Problems in the relationship
Problems within a relationship are one of the most common causes of a loss of libido. If you’ve been together for a long time, you may have become too used to each other, which can have a negative impact on lust.
“The state of the relationship has a major impact on libido,” says psychologist and sex therapist Beatrice Lindéh. “Libido has its origins in the psyche. Those who feel unwell and depressed have less desire for sex. If there are underlying conflicts in the relationship bubbling, the body can lose libido entirely due to stress. ”
You can do this with relationship problems
Therapy can be helpful. Individual therapy can help you deal with your feelings within the relationship. Couples counseling can help resolve recurring conflicts and open up communication.
Beatrice Lindéh advises “boosting the libido through activities that both make you think about sex .” This could be, for example, mutual massages, a shared bath or a shared shower. “The more you have to think about sex, the more likely it is that your libido will increase.”
2. Psychological causes
Every year 25% of people in Europe are affected by depression or anxiety . It can also affect libido. In one study, 33% of men and 42% of women with depression reported a lack of sexual desire — even when they weren’t taking antidepressants.
You can do this for psychological reasons
Don’t pressure yourself about your libido when you’re struggling with mental health issues. Your mental health should come first now. Contact your family doctor to find out more about possible help.
“Other forms of physical intimacy, such as hugs, showering together, or just lying naked in bed together, can be enough for a while. They make you feel close to each other until the desire returns,” recommends Beatrice Lindéh.
You can reduce stress with regular exercise , a healthy diet and regular breathing exercises. Masturbation can help reconnect you with your sexual desire. One study found that masturbating can help reduce the time it takes to fall asleep and improve sleep quality.
3. Hormonal contraceptives
Birth control can increase libido in some women and decrease it in others. “Any hormonal contraceptive can affect the natural balance of your own hormones and thus your libido,” says Med-Healths doctor Dr. McClymont
- the combined birth control pill ,
- the progesterone pill (also known as the mini pill)
- the contraceptive patch (hormone patch)
- there vaginal ring,
- the contraceptive implant,
- the three-month injection and
- the hormonal spiral.
You can do that with birth control
“For many women, hormonal birth control has no effect on libido. For women who do notice an effect, it can go away within a few months,” said Dr. McClymont. If you notice changes in your libido beyond this period, you should discuss with your gynecologist whether another form of birth control might be right for you .
4. Menopause
During and after menopause , changes in estrogen and testosterone levels can affect how much you want to have sex.
“Testosterone levels decrease in women as they age, and estrogen levels tend to drop sharply around menopause,” said Dr. McClymont. “This declining estrogen doesn’t just affect libido. It also reduces the natural vaginal secretions that a woman produces. This leads to dry vaginal tissue, which can be uncomfortable and even painful during sex.”
Although menopausal women often have less interest in sex, it’s not always because of their physical health. Other everyday stresses or sexual problems in the partner can also play a role.
You can do this during menopause
Talk to your doctor about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) being an option for you. There is evidence that HRT is associated with higher sexual desire in women. However, you should also talk about possible risks. _ HRT may not be suitable for women with an increased risk of breast cancer.
Studies have found that libido also decreases in men as they age. In these cases, testosterone therapy can definitely help. You should also seek medical advice on this.
5. You just had a baby
Studies show that most women are having sex again within 6 months of giving birth. Nevertheless, many up to 18 months after birth have less fun and come to orgasm less often. Give yourself a break if sex is still the last thing on your mind.
“After childbirth, it’s normal to have less desire as estrogen levels drop,” says Dr. McClymont. “Libido can decrease, especially in women who have had a difficult birth. In this case, sex can also be painful .”
You can do that after the birth
Beatrice Lindéh suggests that, as a couple, you consciously take time for two when you can be physically intimate without necessarily having sex. For example, you can read each other sexy short stories or just lie in bed and be close to each other. “The most important thing is not to stress yourself and to keep showing your partner: I love you and want to be close to you.”
6. Certain medications
Some medications can curb cravings. This is especially true of some commonly prescribed selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a form of antidepressant .
“SSRIs used to treat depression often decrease libido,” says Dr. McClymont. “Corticosteroids, antihypertensives, diuretics, antipsychotics, and other medications can also cause decreased libido.”
If you suspect a particular medication is affecting your libido, talk to your doctor.
7. Too much alcohol
Heavy alcohol consumption can cause a loss of libido over a long period of time. That’s because drinking a lot of alcohol lowers testosterone levels.
“Men who drink excessive amounts of alcohol may have trouble getting or maintaining an erection,” says Dr. McClymont.
Seek medical advice if you feel like you’re drinking too much or are out of control.
8. Medical causes
About 40% of women and 10% of men will face a sexual problem at some point in their lives. Part of this will be due to a medical issue. “Many physical illnesses can affect mental well-being, and that in turn affects libido,” said Dr. Rhianna McClymont.
- Some of the most common medical conditions that can affect libido include:
- Depressions,
- thyroid problems,
- Diabetes,
- heart disease,
- liver cirrhosis and
- kidney failure.
If you feel your libido is suffering due to medical reasons, seek medical attention. Our experienced doctors are there for you via video consultation.
